Dana Dillipede: Fat Bat, Rabid Reader and Sweet Chef who runs Dining with Dana & fitbatworkouts. She argues about better bands with her pet punk, Dean, lives in a tall tower with her mad doctor Dad and has barbecues at the local graveyard with her ghost Grandmom. She owns the ecosystem atop her head which she feeds with seemingly innocent “Can I touch it?” hands. When she is not out manicuring her mind, she can be seen in the library sharpening her nails. Dana’s personality fluctuates with her size. Over the years, she has grown and continues to do so… Fun fact: has an undying passion for purple.
Dean Hazeltine: Politically Correct Twenty-something Grandpa Punk who drinks, reads the newspaper and sells broken records for a living. He uses his well earned money to buy drinks, the newspaper and more broken records. Dean disapproves of the current system but is reluctant to change anything for fear he will have nothing left to complain about. Also Damien’s arch nemesis.
Darvek: Mysterious Mute and Angry Ex-vocalist who communicates via billboard. Founder and former frontman of the first militant vegan black metal band, Brokkoli Ist Krieg, Darvek retreated from the Northern Hemisphere after losing his voice. Favorite billboard phrase is “GET OFF MY LAWN!”.
Damien Depardieu: Bored to Death Rocker who’s sick of the nowadays and types in stereo. One of the only recurring customers at Broken Records, he is Dean’s biggest frenemy and primary hate interest. His skin is as pale as his disinterest in Pop music. Gender: Nerd.
Dr. Dillipede: Part millipede, part Dill, the six foot four hybrid has not yet overgrown and attacked the city. With a mad doctorate in SCIENCE!!!, Dr. Dillipede knows how to put pieces together. Exasperated by his daughter’s lack of interest in pursuing a career in STEM (Sinister Technologically Enhanced Mutation) he cheerleads her efforts towards personal evolution nonetheless. Favorite phrase is “If Only You KNEW the POWER of SCIENCE!!!!!!!”