Hey Fab Bats! The weather’s beautiful, people are smiling and it is hawt. In this time of enlivening cheer, there is nothing more tempting than to add a little petulance to that perkiness. Lets chop the charm with some tips on how to keep your creep on in these times of terror:
1. Bring out the beach towel! Embrace the sweaty season and go out for a refreshing swim in your nearest swamp (or neighborhood pool). Check out how you can spruce up your own beach towels with sweet sayings like “Dig Your Own Grave.” Build a haunted sand castle. Lay back in the shade and have yourself a read of Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters. Also: when burying your friends in the sand, don’t forget the tombstone.
2. Give your front yard an à la Stephen King makeover. This wrought iron fence tutorial looks foreboding enough to ward off pamphlets and Avon Calling. Also try this short DIY take on the quintessential kitsch American flamingo – Hey, he’s been standing in the same position for decades, he had to move on some day.
3. Pull up your Doc straps and get to work in the garden! Here are 22 Halloween Decorations made of palettes most of which are real cheap and easy to do.
5. Check Out Neil Gaiman’s The Graveyard Book… along with a slough of other spooky classics. Sometimes (actually, most of the time) it’s just nice to curl up next to your favorite pet cat/rat/bat with a good ‘ole spine tingler.
6. Set Your Porch Up with Bloody Candles. Perched on the slit of a windowsill or an actual porch, this vampiric wax ornament comes in both neutral scents and warm cider. Smells like October’s right around the corner. Feeling it now Mr. Krabs?
8. Host a Pre-Halloween Party. Yeah, it’s mid-June, but why are we so bound by the concept of time? Halloween could be happening right now in another dimension. Whip up some Halloween treats, send out invites from Evil Supply .Co and set up your space for a fright of a night.
9. Pull an Are You Afraid of the Dark? and sit around a candle – or campfire if you’re lucky – then recount your worst nightmares…like that one time you wore blue jeans.
11. The Scary Sips: Halloween Masterpost has more than a couple ways for you to both cool off and chill your neighbors.
12. Show off that Banshee Butt with these Freakish Fit Bat Workouts! Nothing like doing lunges at the break of dawn or exorcising to Reagan’s routines.
13. Visit Spooky Places. Just Google “spooky places in [my area]” and map out an itinerary. Slip on your platform Crocs. Be a tourist. Take obnoxious photos. Use that Sailor Moon selfie stick. Exit at the gift shop with a gift. Flaunt your Pagoda like Death of Edward Gorey’s Gashlycrumb Tinies. Ride all the haunted house rides. Let the kids poke your spikes. Ooooh and Aaaah at everything you see…in your raspiest voice (Be respectful and can it if it is a place of worship, meditation or repose.) But the rest of the time, be that guy… only spookier.